Your Online Dating Plan Of Attack

Geplaatst op 09-04-2024

Before you dive head first into the scary waters of online dating you first need a plan. Are you going to take the preferred route and reveal all about yourself or create a secret online avatar to test the waters.

If you are unsure about this whole online dating scene and feel that you want to dip your feet in before getting wet the second option of faking it out for awhile would be the best option.

You see signing up for an online dating site requires you to divulge a significant amount of information about yourself to the world or at least to the dating site in question.

If you are prepared to be honest (recommended) with people and get the most out of the experience then paying for an online dating service and really fleshing out your profile with hobby information and likes and dislikes speaks volumes to other members.

Or you could always just use a pen name for awhile and use the option of hiding your birthdate if thats something you feel slightly embarrassed about.

All I’m saying is that you DO have these options

Hey its the internet and you can be just about anyone you want so dont feel pressured into filling every form out down to your social security number!!!

You are the one in control of your dating profile as well as who you accept as a friend.

Dont feel bad rejecting friend requests or not replying to emails in your inbox.

Your online dating plan of attack is very important because it often defines the success you get on the inside of the dating site itself.

Set up this dating plan before you sign up so that you are all ready before you begin.

Ask yourself these questions when coming up with your online dating plan of attack:

Online Dating Attraction

Who is it that you want to attract?

Online Dating Information

How much information are you willing to divulge with the understanding that the more others know about you the higher and more accurate the response.

Online Dating Experience

What exactly do you want out of this online dating experience?

By knowing who you are looking for, how you profile will look and what you want the end result to be you know are in a position to move forward.

E.g

Novel but vital questions before entering this online dating space

What email are you going to use
Are you going to use your real name
What does the ideal person you are after look like
What do they do or wear?
How are you going to ask other members to chat
Do you want a serious relationship or just a fling?
How are you going to ensure your safety when meeting singles offline?

Opportunity looks a lot like hard work

It seems true in life that some of the best opportunities come to you when you least expect them. It always seems like you get a date just when you decide to stop searching for one, or you land a job just when you stop giving out resumes.

This may be true, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work hard to reach those opportune moments.

If you are single and unhappy about it, you can’t just sit around hoping someone will send you a message or notice you in the grocery store and give you their number. You also can’t spend your whole day searching through online profiles or all night going to bars trying to meet someone.

Hard work in the dating world means not giving up emotionally and mentally. It’s hard to stay optimistic. It’s hard to keep putting yourself back out there once you’ve been hurt, but you have to.

It’s easy to stay in a bad relationship too long, and it’s easy to say no one is interested in you if you are feeling self conscious or broken. But if you do, opportunity will pass you by.

If you respect yourself and “work hard” emotionally, you will find someone – it just won’t be easy.

“The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart”

There’s a famous quote by Albert Einstein: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Learn where your intelligence exists and never be afraid to show it off.

I was in a relationship where I felt stupider than my partner. He was never proud of me and I could almost literally feel my talent draining away the longer I went without believing in myself.

Now I see that we were both intelligent is very different ways.

If you want to find a partner and spend the rest of your life sharing your happiness with someone then you have to know that you are smart and show that you are smart.

Intelligence isn’t a university degree or a long conversation at 2:00 a.m. about what life really means. Intelligence is being thoughtful and being generous.

My boyfriend may not have gone to college but he knows how to make a person feel happy and whole and he knows what real friendship is. If you don’t think friendship is intelligence, or that love is intelligence, then you’re limiting your understanding of what it is to be smart and your limiting your chances of finding and accepting love.

Build a life, don’t just live one

Ashton Kutcher explained in his acceptance speech that “everything around us that we call life was made up by people that are no smarter than you. You can build your own things and you can build your own life that other people can live in.”

In the dating world there is a certain way that things happen. You meet someone, you date, you become official, you get engaged, you get married and you have babies.

Do you know what often happens next? People get divorced.

A happy relationship isn’t one that makes perfect sense and follows all the right patterns.

If you know me and my relationship, you’ll know that we didn’t do things exactly normal for a while. People can judge your relationship for being on and off, or open, or long distance, or complicated, but if you are happy and in love then none of that judgment means anything.

Don’t run your relationship and your dating life according to the way anyone else thinks you should. If you do something because you should or because it’s normal or the right thing to do but it goes against what you feel you want or need romantically, then you’re doing it wrong.

Don’t be afraid to take breaks, see other people, or sleep with whomever you want. Forget labels and shame and just live the way you need to. I did and I think I turned out okay.

So don’t give up on love, know that you are smart and desirable, and live the life and relationship you design, without guidelines.